- YOUR NOSE GETS PREGNANT! Yep! Enter drunk, old man style snoring! My nose got bigger before my belly did! Tripled in size! So random! By the time I gave birth my nostrils were basically touching my earlobes!
- SORE TAILBONE! I never really noticed I even had a tailbone until BOOM… from 6 weeks pregnant I felt like my tailbone was going to pierce through my ass! And that shit only got worse! Sitting, standing, laying was all horrific! The only relief I found was in water (bath or pool) and on an exercise ball! I had one in my living room and one at my work! I’d even sometimes shower sitting the exercise ball (also handy for shaving legs!). It really brought new meaning to ‘pain in the ass’!
- PUFFY VAG! Usually around the time that you can no longer see over your bump to your beautiful poonarni, it’s also the time that the pressure and blood flow is all channelling in that direction! My flaps got so puffy my newborns could of used it as a jumping castle! Never fear… just like jumping castles, that shit deflates when the party’s over!
- HOLLYWOOD LIPS! Now there has to be one good thing about being a swollen whale and for me that was my glorious lips! Who new pregnancy would make my lips look better than $400 fillers!!! Shame about the rest of my swollen head though!
- WAGON WHEEL NIPPLES! Good lord my nipples were NEXT LEVEL! My usually light pink, almost transparent nipples turned into giant Wagon Wheels! My entire breasts were taken over by oversize black dinner plates!
- RUNNY NOSE! In addition to my inflated shnoz… For a large portion of my pregnancy my nose literally dripped like a tap and if the theory that 8 sneezes equals an orgasm then I was getting my rocks off about a 100 times a day! It’s what I discovered is called Rhinitis! I managed to find a pregnancy safe nose spray that did the trick! However the hayfever/sinus has continued for me post pregnancy so just beware!
- YOU’LL SLEEP MORE WHEN THE BABY COMES! I basically slept more when I had my twins and was waking for 3 feeds a night than I did while I was pregnant! Preggo insomnia is not an urban myth… that shit it real! “It’s just preparing you for when the baby arrives” everyone will say!… No no no you just cant get comfortable enough to fall asleep and the second you do you’ll need to pee!
- FROSTY FRUITS ARE LIFE! A summer pregnancy means one thing… FROSTY FRUITS! I had the most intense addiction to Frosty Fruits and I hear its quite a summer pregnancy trend!
- YOUR FEET MIGHT CHANGE FOREVER! My kankles actually went viral! They had fans! I went from a regular women’s size 9… By my 3rd trimester my feet were so swollen they would barely fit into a women’s size 11!!! I found one pair of buckle slip ons (size 11) that would only fit my fat feet on the loosest buckle!
This is a photo of my feet on christmas day 2017, I was admitted to hospital with pre-eclampsia (high blood pressure) about 4 days later and the twins were born on 3rd Jan 2018! Mind you, I was walking around on these chubby stumps from mid November! Not even icing or elevation could help the fluid retention! 4.5 months post birth, my feet are still a size 10 and have never returned to their original size!!
10. LASERED HAIR GROWS BACK AND WAXING HURTS LIKE HELL! I’m not really a hairy person but all the time and money spent on laser is worthless when you’re preggo and all the hair grows back! SHAME! So when I was about 6 months pregnant and couldn’t see my vag anymore I thought, ill go get a wax (it had been years since I had a wax!) HOLY HELLLLLLLLL my poor vagina felt like it had been bashed with a toilet brush for a good week! Maybe stick to shaving while pregnant or just grow a 70s bush!
Did some weird shit that you never expected happen to you during pregnancy? Leave your weird pregnancy symptoms in the comments below! I would love to know I’m not the only weirdo out there! haha